This month’s Dispatch is in recognition of the unfinished. Little things that I began, but never got through. Moments where the passion and the conviction ran faster than the application. Tucked away neatly, for another day, perhaps? Another time? Another chance? So many things, I promised myself I would come back to, but then left hanging. Conversations, dreams, choices… all collecting dust, now that I am unable to look their way. Forgotten, but can it be forgiven?
I’ve been sitting on this issue for two months now. Perhaps I let myself get a little too literal with the meaning and slacked off. Or maybe I let myself be immersed in the experience of leaving something unfinished. Whatever it may have been, it’s May already, and it’s out - my unfinished wall of neglect - bits of poetry, art, and a few recipes, all waiting to be whole. Some day…
Enjoy!
Love,
Sanya Sundar
Altered Spaces.
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THE DISPATCH 08 : unfinished
Poem : Untitled
Short Fiction : Untitled
Poem : Failing to Forget
Recipe : Gnocchi with Beetroot Sauce
Short Fiction : Blind Faith
Poem : Downward Spiral Town
Photography : Plant Life
Short Fiction : To Be Named
Abstract Seas : 1st Preview Cuts
Photography : Composite - Alignment
Short Fiction : Untitled
Recipe : The Extras - Onion Jam & Garlic Confit
Poem : The Long Road
Reading List
Watching list
Audio Playlist
Poem : Untitled
He wakes up in the morning.
He up and about town
He’s disciplined and calming
He stops to pick up his ironing
His groceries and dairy.
He goes to get a haircut
He should have done that first
The milk gets split, the veggies wilt
and now he must repeat
Two out of three
Before he can let it be.
Short Fiction : Untitled
The year doesn’t matter. What matters is that humanity was hurrying along. Too busy to even think about what it means to stop and smell the roses. There are a million and one things to do and time…time was never enough.
‘’I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date! No time to say hello or goodbye. I’m late. I’m late. I’m late.’’ Leah says out loud before she bursts into a laugh.
Nobody else is in the room save for the sunlight pouring in. It was a bright Tuesday Morning. The windows are large and the curtains were heavy but she had drawn them to let the light in.
She was sitting on her desk, her tea still warm, writing away vigorously, words taking shape in her mind gushing down like a stream through her hands and on to the paper, when in a brief moment, she felt a jolt that compelled her to pause and blurt out the white rabbit’s lines.
‘’I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date! No time to say hello goodbye. I’m late. I’m late. I’m late.’’ Leah repeats; this time slower…more pronounced…as though each word were an artefact that she carefully rolled around in her mouth- inspecting, feeling…before letting it escape through her lips.
Looking down at the desk, she begins to neatly stack the papers, tapping them ever so lightly, packing them together into a bundle and puts them away. She looks at her watch. It’s 10 AM.
Where is he? She wonders.
Poem : Failing to Forget
AI Generated Unfinished Edit
It’s been a month
The words are frozen
Like the bread in the freezer
I forget to eat each morning
Like berries preserved,
Waiting to be thawed.
Like icy lakes
Patient till spring
Unlike my memories of you
Which come rushing
Gushing
Pushing
Demanding to be held
Harder,
Each time I try to let you go.
Recipe : Gnocchi with Beetroot Sauce
For the Gnocchi :
Ingredients :
Potato (1-2 Medium sized)
Flour (1-2 cups)
1/2 a beaten egg
Salt
Potato : poke with fork and bake or cut into pieces and boil till soft.Mash the potato using a ricer/masher
Add to it anywhere between 1 to 2 cups flour (start with 1 cup and increase in small quantities as required) and 1 teaspoon salt and mix to form a dough. (Just use your fingers to twirl it around till it comes together.) You can include half an egg to get a softer consistency.
Once the dough is ready, knead it for a couple of minutes (use very little oil or water if too tough and a little more flour if too sticky) and divide it into 4 portions.
Roll each portion out into a long rope and cut small inch pieces
Press down on each piece to create an indentation or use fork to create ridges
Let the gnocchi sit in the freezer for a few minutes before you boil, especially if you’re in a warm climate.
Boil water add salt for cooking gnocchi. The gnocchi is cooked when it rises to the surface. Let it simmer on the surface for 20-30 seconds before you remove it. Transfer directly to pan when done.
In a pan, heat butter, let it burn a bit. add herbs (pref sage) garlic, nuts (pref crushed almonds or walnuts) add gnocchi and toss till a bit toasted.
Garnish with cheese and fresh herbs.
For the Sauce :
Beetroot (1 Medium sized)
Roasted/Confit Garlic
Cream
Salt
Peel & steam till soft and the fork goes all the way through.
Blend the beetroot with some salt, cream and roasted/confit garlic until it becomes a runny smooth mixture.
Cooking Instructions :
Melt butter in a pan
Add Thyme and garlic
Add the beetroot sauce and cream/water until it’s got a runny consistency. I like to keep mine quite runny as it makes the dish light to eat.
Cook it down for a minute and add a little more butter to make it a bit more glossy.
Add the cooked gnocchi.
Garnish with some grated cheese
Short Fiction : Blind Faith
Faith did not go blind until much later in life. Until then, she was a painter. After the accident, she spent many years secretly battling bitterness.
‘’The curtains have closed and the stage is no longer visible.’’, she would say. Most people didn’t get the humour. Sometimes, she wondered if that hurt her more than the accident.
Despite that, she had tried to keep her spirits up, perhaps more than one would’ve imagined.
‘’For what is grace, if not the luxury of love and hope, guarding her close?’’, she would say. Most people didn’t understand.
She began to think, was the blindness an unfortunate fate or was it instead, her body’s response?
Poem : Downward Spiral Town
I make my bed and hum a tune
For chirping birds
And rays of sunshine
Awaken my senses
And fill my heart
A yearning to live
Yet another beautiful day.
I look for you,
But alas you’re off to visit
Downward spiral town
Again.
I’ll pack my bags and follow you there
To bring you back
Again.
Very soon, one day
I’ll lose my way and
We’ll doth be lost
in
Downward Spiral Town.
Photography : Plant Life
Short Fiction : To be Named
Some were busy trying to light a thousand tiny fires in the hopes that they will eventually burn it all to the ground. And then there were others. Trying to plant thousands of acts of grace and kindness in the hopes that eventually it will be enough to fill their souls.
It’s not a new story. In fact, it’s no story at all.
The real story was lost in translation. It was the story of simple joys and quiet horrors- the touch of a hand on your shoulder, assuring you that they’re there for you. The smell of lilies some in full bloom, some only half. The depth of a wound before it’s big enough for blood to gush out and spray out of your body. That moment when you see someone take their final breath.
The last time you thought I was beautiful. The first time I knew I’ll fall in love with you. The exhilaration when you get the seasoning just right, the tears of joy of a new father who, just a few hours earlier, feared he would lose his wife and baby. The day you were so consumed with your own self that you forgot to say goodbye. Or hello.
A thousand small moments, too small to make it to the footnotes, but explodes in our memory in the most obscure moments, demolishing every perception that was, and says to you, how could you have forgotten?
Abstract Seas : 1st Preview Cuts
A project so abstract it has stretched into a dimension where things exist in limbo, never letting you go.
Photography : Composite : Alignment
All the nine planets were in alignment recently and I was tempted to stack them as ice cream scoops on a cone. By the time I got to Saturn & Neptune, I went in for greek symbolism to shake it up a bit. It’s still rough around the edges and remains unfinished. Something happened while I was detailing the composite that left a bad taste in my mouth. I can’t remember what it is now, but I haven’t looked back at the edit file since. I did spend a while thinking about the fragility of my creative ego.
Reading List
Voltaire’s Alphabet of Wit
Selected Stories - Alice Munro
Watching List
Elementary(TV Show)
The Perfect Couple (TV Show)
RECIPE : EXTRAS : ONION JAM & GARLIC CONFIT
This is a great recipe to prep and store. The Onion Jam is very versatile and you can use it as a spread, a filler in your sandwiches or steamed buns or crepes, as a side with your meats, and it even pairs great with cheese! It’s super easy to make and you can experiment with both sweet and salty variations depending on what you intend to use it with. Here’s a rough quick recipe :
Onions - 8-10 Medium sized (You’ve got to really let hem sweat and shrink, so don’t be alarmed at the large quantities you’ll need to slice in order to get a tiny bit of jam!
Bay Leaf - 1-2
Cinnamon - A couple of sticks (This is optional, if you’re not fond of the spice) or Curry leaves (If you want. to give it an Indian Flavor)
Sugar - As required; usually about 4-5 spoons.
Herbs - Thyme
Chilli Powder - 2 -3 spoons
Butter
Instructions :
Add a block of butter and your whole spices to it (Bay Leaf, Cinnamon/Curry Leaf, Herbs)
Mix in the sliced onions (slice them thin for better results)
Let it sweat for about 30 mins in a low flame. Keep staring to make sure it doesn’t burn or stick to the bottom
Add you powdered spices and sugar. Keep staring and let it sweat for another 30 odd mins. Keep tasting it every 10 mins until it gets a very soft and almost jammy consistency. Add more sugar and chilli powered if required.
If you like a little bite in your onions, you can stop it a little earlier, before becomes jammy.
Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator.
I didn’t take pictures of the Garlic Confit. This was the only one. It’s completely wrong, as I had to change the container to a larger one later. But it’s a good reference.
This recipe is best with large bulbs of garlic. You get this variety at certain places. So keep a look out next time you’re out shopping. If you happen to travel down south near Kodaikkanal, Poombarai is a great place to pick up some insane garlic. They have many varieties and some are even used raw for medicinal purposes. So stock up on lots of garlic if you’re around that area.
The Confit is quite simple. Get a block of butter, stick the peeled garlic in them . Add a big stick of fresh rosemary and stick it in the oven. I can’t remember the temperature I used, but i’m guessing anywhere between 170-190 is good. Let it cook for about an hour at least. Begin checking once 40 mins are up. The butter would have melted and the garlic should be cooking to a point of melting in the butter. It should be spreadable with a butter knife. That’s the consistency you’re looking for. Once it’s done, Store it with the butter in an airtight glass container.
I’m sure you can find detailed recipes for both he Jam and the Garlic Confit online.
Short Fiction : To be Named
When she woke up in the morning, Alice had a shocking realisation. Her head had turned into a jug. At first, like anybody else would, she thought it was a dream. She tried various ways to wake herself up. Eventually, when all else failed, she had to accept her new reality - her head was a jug.
She goes to take a closer look in the mirror. A dull blue coloured metal jug with a pointed spout at the top, no lid. It was the oddest thing - No eyes, no ears, no mouth- no face, basically. Just the smooth cold finish of hand beaten metal.
Yet, she could still see, hear, smell…eat?? Can she eat?, she wondered. She turns her jughead to the right and left. She spots an apple on the table. Maybe if she tried to place it inside the jug? Yes, it seemed to work. ‘Oh well, at least I don’t have to chew?’, she says out loud, followed by a nervous laugh.
She spends a few more hours up in her bedroom before she can come out and face the world. When she finally does, she’s met with a wave of questions, advice and pity.
‘’Alice! What in heavens is this joke? Take that jug off right now, young girl. I’ve had enough of your pranks at breakfast.’’ Her Mother.
‘’How absolutely bizzare. I cannot think of anything I’ve ever seen before that could come close to this. Should we take her to a doctor or a priest?’’ Her Father.
‘’Alice has finally grown into the freak that she is!’’ Her brothers.
‘’Alice, don’t be scared, I’m sure we’ll find a way to get your head back.’’ Her baby sister.
But unfortunately, they could not get Alice’s’ head back. No doctors, no priests, not even the lonely old woman who brewed potions in her kitchen could come up with something helpful.
‘’You’re a jughead for life, Alice.’’, her brothers jeered and taunted, as they aimed tiny pebbles to throw into the jug.
‘’That tastes horrible! Stop throwing them into my head!’’, Alice pleads and screams.
The boys laugh and mock her until she cannot stand it anymore - the pain, the embarrassment, the frustration, the helplessness. In a fit of rage, she runs towards her brothers, screaming, and in one swift motion, jumps towards them, swinging her jug head, knocking them on their heads, again and again, till they scream and beg her to stop.
‘’Not so funny now, is it?’’ Alice screams as the brothers run away, bruised, shouting promises to never bother her again.
As the months go by, Alice begins to understand more about how her jug head functions
Poem : The Long Road
These days,
They twist and turn
Bend and fall
Make up a game
And speak in tongues
Hiding from themselves
Standing behind a mirror
Buried in work
Pretending to not care
So many tricks
So many turns
The list goes on.
What are they trying to say? You ask me.
They’re trying to say
I love you
I need you
I do not want to live without you.
In every way possible
Except
The one that makes you turn their way.
Audio Playlist
This month’s playlist doesn’t exit :( The Link is to last month’s Left over Pudding Cake Playlist.
Did you feel incomplete and unsettled browsing through this month’s content? It’s how I’ve been feeling putting together the Dispatch all these months.
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