THE DETAILS
Last evening, I had a chat with a friend I haven’t spoken to in years. Yet, there was a warmth and familiarity that made it so easy to just flow with the conversation. Apart from the joy of reconnecting with an old friend, it helped me defog a few mixed emotions I hadn’t taken the time out to articulate off late.
Authentic connection is a two way street.
It is a feeling experienced only when both parties come together voluntarily and with raw honesty choose to share context. Without context, the image of ourselves we show the world through our actions and words is like an intricate veil covering the beauty of our face, like heavy shiny earrings that appear to glitter on the outside, but silently cause a world of pain to the earlobes, or worse, like fries without a dip.
A genuine interest in context is an act of love and courage. When we share or attempt to understand another’s context, we are in fact engaging in a sacred act that can feel synonymous to when we don’t hesitate to visit a friend at their home on a day they’re not at their best, haven’t managed to clean up and there’s nothing to eat in the refrigerator, yet you both have a good time and chill out.
Context allows for a person to be a witness to your whole experience and not just the pretty solutions and conclusions you managed to gather after your ego has been put back together into a respectable image. Sharing context reminds us that we are already united in our experience of being human and that any ‘separateness’ or ‘imperfections’ that we see can be equally beautiful if we can abandon our need to constantly try to fix ourselves in order to spend time or communicate with others.
When you make space for an authentic conversation, it opens the gates to embrace creative thought, thus boosting one’s ability to rise above the chains of the skewed perceptions we have of the self and the other. It allows us to love and be loved.
When I experience an authentic connection with another person, I am reminded of the joy I used to feel attending birthday parties from when I was a little kid. You give someone a gift to appreciate them on their special day, but they give you a return gift and suddenly it’s everyone’s special day!
Authentic conversations have a way of triggering memories of events, experiences and emotions you may have forgotten, denied yourself or couldn’t express.
Authentic connections, once experienced, can be forgotten, but never lost. For it is an unsaid bond where you exchange little bits of each other’s soul to carry with you on your journey as a reminder that together, you created and shared a sacred space once. And that space is always there waiting for when you both want to share context again.